Out of the conversation with Julie:

My stereotype, I don't want to be. Guilt about my stereotype and the unknown's, innocences it has. consequence -> I'm educating myself, who am I, what are my privileges. What can I do with that. What can I change, what is my power. Because I am one of the stereotypes, one of the bubble I can come in contact with them, start a conversation. I should use that position. I can be the mediator, middelman. When I start the conversation I should share my knowledge. Let's see if it has positive impact on the way they use their privilege. Take down the stereotype.

Feedback on my essay

Teana:

"I like the style, however it is too superficially written, if you are going to write like this what I see as ‘popie. jopie’ style it has to be done with much more detail and combined with a theoretical analysis. Otherwise this essay could be a magazine article but not an academic one."

"This would now be a good place to discuss the ideas that have changed you, and share with the reader how they changed you. This way you add depth to your writing. "

"Here you need to write a sentence that the next part of your analysis will focus on current popular documentaries and what they say about the state of the young successful in NL. "

"Here would be a good place to move to a more theoretical consideration: to mention fat as a feminist issue or the dark side of this body norm which are eating disorders. "

" This is a good point much like your other ones, but it is not supported by academic theory of which there is a lot -on this issue."

"You need to link Wekker’s quote to' this next bit of text, did reading it make you feel guilty about your privilege for example, how did that affect your I did it sharpen your understanding that it is a white I living in a white bubble consuming white made images of beauty and success. This would be a great linking sentence. "

"Je gaat te snel over belangrijke ijkpunten heen waardoor je werk as oppervlakkig overkomt, dat is jammer!"

" Your work needs to be in conversation with theory, which at the moment reads more like insta posts, floating above your story of you. This is potentially an interesting story but it needs to be positioned more strongly form the perspective of white privilege and how damaging that is for those inside and outside the bubble.
In your sources I see you have referenced Robin Diangelo, but you do not mention any of her concepts in your essay, while that would be an excellent combination with the me and the I of Mead, to think through that positionality would be great as I have not seen it done yet. "

I couldn't agree more with Teana's comments. I knew where I wanted to talk about but I didn't know how. I just started to write this essay with all the knowledge I had gathered. Writing an essay for the first time was something I needed to get used to. Like I already said, I wasn't really happy about my first draft but thanks to Teana's comments and feedback I understand how to give depth into my work. And I think I know now how I want to write my essay. How I can tell what I actually mean.

After the feedback I had a conversation with Julie. Me trying to explain where my assays about, in English, helped me to figure out where my essay actually is about. What's the core of my story. Thanks to this conversation I knew what I needed to skip and what I needed to add to get to that core.

Getting visual

I was exited about making our work visual but it was harder than I thought. I gathered a lot of different pieces but kind of lost te personal part. What I like the most from the things I've gathered is the self portrait of Vivian Maier, where she questions what her position in the world is. First I thought I wanted to do a lot with art in the magazine but I found out that I like to connect daily things like social media, films, podcasts and street art to the subject privilege. With in my mind that we are writing to our younger selves, girls between 12-16 I thought that that exactly was where I was interested in. Not too difficult and heavy mediums, make it approachable.

When we all put pur work into one drive we combined all our finding. We all made a page where all the ideas came together.

I am really happy with de feedback on my essay and motivated to rewrite it next week. I know what I want to say, and what Julie said I you know what to write, the hard work is done. Next week we are also going to make a start to the magazine and divide tasks, which is really exiting. The end of the minor is coming and it is really nice to collect al the learned lessons into one piece.

Reflection